Breaking up is good to do

Everyone dreads a break-up. But research from a Monmouth University psychology professor suggests the negative reputation may be unfounded.

Gary W. Lewandowski, Jr. surveyed people who had recently experienced a break-up to examine how the break-ups affected those involved. His results were surprising.

“If the relationship that ended was a source of self-expansion – i.e., helped you grow as a person – then a person tends to experience self loss,” Lewandowski explained. “More interestingly, when a person ends a non-expanding relationship, they experience more positive emotions and growth.”

The research found that, overall, most people experienced positive benefits from breaking-up.

“Most likely, this is due to the previous relationship holding them back in some way,” said Lewandowski, whose research has received notice in publications such as the British Psychological Society Research Digest and Self magazine.

Lewandowski began his research on break-ups several years ago, while in graduate school.

“Based on personal experience, I knew there were times when breaking-up was a good thing, but it was something the [academic] literature had not addressed,” he said.

There’s more to come.

“I have another paper coming out shortly that shows the influence of learning about a person's personality on how you perceive their physical attraction,” he said. “Basically, if you learn that an attractive person has a bad personality, you come to see them as less physically attractive. Similarly, if you learn that a less physically attractive person is really fantastic, you come to see them as more physically attractive.”

Lewandowski's work has also been published in The Psychology of Survivor, a new book in which experts in the field looked at psychological issues in the popular reality television show.

“I try to take any chance I can get to show people how psychology fits into everyday life and this seemed like a good way to do it,” he said.

-Candyce Cook